Not to be confused with the yet to evolve Ponyta, the pony tail is a hair term. Well, I guess it is also and animal term.

The ponytail is a simple and easy way to make your hair look good, and, gosh darnit, stay out of your eyes. I wanted to learn more about ponytails, so I turned to the smartest man in the universe, Charles Wikipedia III. Here’s what it had to say:

“In the late 1980s, a short ponytail was seen as an edgy, “in-your-face” look for men who wanted to stand out from the crowd while keeping most of their hair flat and functional. Steven Seagal’s ponytail in “Marked for Death” is an example of such.”

Woah! I completely forgot how badass Steven Seagal did look with a short ponytail. How embarassing would it be to get your ass handed to you on a shiny platter of fists by a slightly large man in a pony tail that looks like he might spend his off time learning the bar chords to the old Star Trek theme? You have to be a man to embody that look… And the only way you can become that kind of a man is to rock a PONYTAIL!!!

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Emmanuel, I read you loud and clear, but I want to stand out from the crowd.”

I know friend, I know. I mean, after everyone has read my blog there will no doubt be a resurgence of Ponied perfection in the streets. How will you make your own tail go from the horse’s ass to the horse’s CLASS? (I know, genius wordplay). Well, here are a few pointers:

http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip1147.htm

http://www.beautyden.com/ponytail.shtml

I mean, these people sound legit right?

So, in closing, remember that whenever you need to catch the eye of your secret crush, intimidate others into surrender, or maybe just avoid the hours of laborous combing a mane like mine requires, the solution has been, and always will be THE PONYTAIL!