Off Center

Talk about devotion: this tattoo of Spoonbridge and Cherry, found on the arm of an extreme-Oldenburg devotee and Minneapolis transplant to North Carolina, appears in the “Missed Connections” section of Craigslist. A lovesong by a homesick Minneapolitan, it’s also a reminder to get out there--the Sculpture Garden, the Fair, whatever--before the snow pins you in (or doesn’t, as the accompanying poem attests).

Oh you.
Minneapolis.
So scary to the southern folk who lock themselves away with the threat of a single snowflake.
Waffle House cannot compare to Chipotle.
The draaaawl will never be the don’tcha know?
Sweet tea pours in gallons, where the Hamm’s beer is unheard of.
No lakes to splash in here, and salt water burns the eyes.
Ice fishing is a death threat, along with queers and democrats.
Turn signals will never be found in the city of Cary (Concentrated Area of Relocated Yankees.)
So many not even knowing where Minnesota is, along with their sense of exposure.
Please don’t call me ma’am, and that Dr. Pepper is certainly not a Coke.
This is where I am, for the time being.
And I just wanted to let you know that I miss you so very much.

--Homesick in Raleigh, North Carolina

Take that, Golden Palace Casino (who paid $10K to tattoo their URL on a woman’s forehead): we get free publicity, an aesthetically superior tattoo, and a poem, for free. But not quite: if our prodigal Minnesotan contacts us, we’ll spring for a free Walker membership, to use when you’re back ’round these parts.

(Hat tip--or rather, high five--to John Valko in Visitors Services for the find.)