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The state shall appropriate

Normally we steer clear of politics on the Walker Blogs, for reasons that are not necessary to enumerate here. However, once in a while something quirky and safe enough comes up to merit a post. So I present to you Minnesota House Bill H0224: 1.5 Section 1. [138.99] POET LAUREATE. 1.6 Subdivision 1. Appointment. 1.7 [...]

Normally we steer clear of politics on the Walker Blogs, for reasons that are not necessary to enumerate here. However, once in a while something quirky and safe enough comes up to merit a post. So I present to you Minnesota House Bill H0224:

1.5 Section 1. [138.99] POET LAUREATE.

1.6 Subdivision 1. Appointment.

1.7 The Gov’ shall appoint a state poet laureate,

1.8 Who shall serve for a four-year term.

1.9 Because this appointment will always be great,

1.10 There’s no need for the Senate to confirm.

1.11 In appointing a poet for the public good,

1.12 And to ensure there’s no unjust omission,

1.13 The governor shall consider, if he would

1.14 Thoughts of the Humanities Commission.

1.15 Subd. 2. Removal.

1.16 The poet will be free to write rhyming lines,

1.17 With removal only for cause,

1.18 But we trust that the bard will promptly resign,

1.19 If the verse reads as badly as laws.

1.20 Subd. 3. Compensation.

1.21 ‘Twould be fair to provide some just recompense

1.22 As reward for the poet’s tribulations,

1.23 But because at this time we haven’t the cents

1.24 We’re afraid there is no compensation.

1.25 But we ask as the poet travels the state,

1.26 And the people their ears they lend,

2.1 That our learned Commission take the position

2.2 To provide the poor poet a stipend.

2.3 Subd. 4. Gifts and grants.

2.4 To provide the support that needs to come

2.5 To support our new laureate,

2.6 Gifts and grants received of a generous sum,

2.7 We hereby appropriate.

Whether it is partisan or not, my poetry brain is still deciphering. Either way, it is pretty funny. I can’t help but admire the wit and giddy sarcasm, which is just about never present in legislation. I can just imagine Reps. Kahn, Urdahl, Hilty, Jaros, and Hausman in their offices proud over their tongue in cheek creation. Big hat tip to MNPublis for finding this.

  • nee says:

    Ha! That’s great. I especially appreciate this self depricating line, “If the verse reads as badly as laws.”

  • darusha says:

    I find it amusing that as the bill reads, the poet laureate would be able to write rhyming poetry only (1.16). No free verse allowed in Minnesota!

  • lee says:

    Actually, it doesn’t say that the poet would “only” be free to write rhyming lines. I think we can interpret writing other types of poetry as an implied power in addition to the poet laureate’s express power to compose rhyming poetry.

    This is great!

  • Helge says:

    ♥ Wonderful to see meta-laws and -poetry. Down the same alley as the norwegian law-student P. W. Zappfe, who wrote his master or doctorate in law in rhyming quatrains…

  • Brad says:

    I worry that it would be overturned by the supreme court.

  • VK says:

    That’s nothing to The Spring (Arrangements) Bill!

    “Provision for Season called Spring

    1. – (i) It shall be lawful everywhere for citizens to walk on air, to hang their hats upon the trees and wander hatless, if they please: and notwithstanding any cracked provision in a previous Act to give a constable a kiss is not felonious after this.

    (ii) All citizens who choose to ride on taxi-tops and not inside: and those who do not use their votes because they’re busy painting boats: and any miscreant who hums, instead of doing dismal sums: whoever does a silly thing need only answer “‘Tis the Spring”: and this shall be a good defence in any court with any sense:

    Provided that, in late July, this Act, of course, does not apply.”

    http://shimgray.livejournal.com/73358.html

  • Skcusawn says:

    If I were a legislator, I would write a counter bill to the effect of “we support poets, but oppose this action”

  • Save Bell says:

    The poet who writes rhyming laws

    Wins your vote but, dear reader, just pause.

    Study what else he does,

    Here’s the reason, because

    It’s no guard ‘gainst legislative flaws.

    (Yes, I know I strain the scansion.)